Behind the mask
by black widow mistress
Summary: Helen rolled over and took in the scent left on the now empty pillow beside her. So masculine, so strong and so comforting. She hadn't wanted this to happen, but it had and now, now he was gone and she was left alone with her thoughts once again.


**Soooo my tumblr anon prompted me with the first paragraph again. And I have never written sanctuary fanfic in my life ever so enjoy! And review please, they make me happy, very happy. :)**

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><p>Helen rolled over and took in the scent left on the now empty pillow beside her. So masculine, so strong and so comforting. She hadn't wanted this to happen, but it had and now, now he was gone and she was left alone with her thoughts once again.<p>

She sighed audibly as she hugged the pillow tight breathing the scent in deeply; the sheets were still messed from where he had slept earlier after they had fallen asleep.

"_Stupid bloody woman aren't you Helen, stupid, stupid, stupid" she growled to herself as she clung to the pillow tighter the scent that was unmistakeably his, permeating every pore of her body as if he was once again there with her. _

She missed him that was the truth, she thought the night before might fix some things and that they might have been able to salvage what was left of their tattered relationship but she had been wrong.

'_Yet again you were wrong Helen, you're always wrong about these things' a little voice in her mind sounded. _

She was sick of the dance that they had done for a while now, the way that they moved around their problems as if they were a well choreographed Ballet, the two of them lead dancers, each conflicted with a problem that neither wanted to share.

"_Bloody hell John! Why can't you just be here when I wake up for once?" she said bitterly as she got out of bed, the sheets wrapped around her pale body to fight off the crisp morning air. _

The more she thought about it, she realised she hated the way they had become, at one stage they had talked and shared their feelings, nowadays neither knew what the other felt, they had rare moments like the night before where they felt connected and safe with each other but that was a rarity. He spent his hours at the office and she spent her hours painting and drawing to escape the pain that she felt in her life. She spied the sweater that was lying across the couch and recognised it as his, her fingers played with the wool as his scent once again taunted her, making her wish things were different in some way.

"_I love you John" she had murmured the night before as he had treated her like a queen, the way he had when they first began their relationship. He had replied with a kiss to her neck and a muffled "I love you too my darling" just as he had always, before they had changed._

A small smile graced her face as she noticed her Henry curled up on the couch, they hadn't had kids, not that she wouldn't have loved them, they had just never gotten to that stage so Henry had become their own version of a child, a little being to care for and nurture. Helen had fallen in love with him the moment she had seen him and John had taken to him somewhat as well. She sighed, they had had big plans when they had started out, 2 kids, a dog, a cat and a happy marriage completed with the small house in a quaint town, somewhere they could call home. Now as she looked at it, they had only achieved one of those things; the cat.

"_Where did we go wrong" she asked herself as she leant on the couch, the sheets trailing behind her in an odd parody of how her wedding dress had the day her and John had gotten married. _

She shivered slightly and grimaced as she realised she had to go in search of clothing. She reached for his sweater and pulled it over her head as she went in search of her sweat pants finding a pair in her closet and pulling them on before making her way back to the living room where she sat on the couch staring into space.

"_I miss you John" she said to nothing in particular, tears threating to escape once more._

"_I miss you too Helen" a male voice said from behind her causing her to turn around and stare at him her eyes wide. _

"_You were gone when I woke up" she said softly. _

"_I didn't feel it right to wake you when you looked so peaceful" he cringed internally as she turned away from his gaze. _

"_We need to talk don't we?" he sighed as he sat next to her on the couch, her gaze still directed at the table before her. _

"_Yes John, we need to talk" she replied turning to look at him, her blue eyes swimming with emotions. "We need to have a long talk" she added as she schooled her features._

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><p><strong>It is finished, Oh My God, I have never ever ever written Sanctaury fanfic but Holy mother of magnus. Again thankyou to my anon and Reviews are loved guys! xx<strong>


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